-A L O N E-
eulogy in where's cmo? given by cole macleod olsen.
​
october 22nd written and performed by caelum macleod olsen
additional guitars and drums provided by strongarm
​
non-entity written by trent reznor and originally performed by nine inch nails.
​
I just cant forget everything u meant - I just lost my best friend, my firstborn son - I dont know why they took u away, to sum other place - where I can never see u smile, or see your blue eyes shine - and I wont get another chance, to see your face or hear u laugh - to catch u when ur falling down & tell u that u make me proud, C M O..
[chorus] ---------------------------------------------------------------------
but where did u go - C M O ?.. where did u go? - wheres C M O ?
wheres C M O ? - where did u go.. C M O ?
I just can't pretend that I'll ever be over this - I never thought I'd see u fall in my time - and now my heart's been ripped right out of me, just one more tragedy - that I don't want to have to face and see your young life laid to waste - and it makes no sense to me, but at least I know your'e free - a spirit too bold to be dead, son one day we'll meet again.. I know..
[chorus] ----------------------------------------------------------------
ride on to valhalla - the truth awaits u there..
onward to the new dawn - peace awaits u there..
[4x]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
MORE MUSIC DOWNBELOW ON PAGE
- F E N C E -
CAN U HELP ME FIND
FIND MY PEACE OF MIND?
I DONT KNOW HOW
BUT HER BULLSHIT KEEPS ON RAGIN'
PERHAPS ITS JUST THE PAIN
THE PAIN SHE CAUSED MY BRAIN
IS THERE SHELTER
FROM THIS MENTAL TORTURE?
CAN U TELL ME
HOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO KNOW?
THAT YOU'D JUST GIVE UP
AND TURN UR BACK ON ME?
& NOW THAT I'M LEFT TO SUFFER HERE
I STILL LOVE U
IN SUM PATHETIC WAY..
CAN U HELP ME FIND-
FIND THE REASONS WHY?
U CRUSHED OUR DREAMS
LIKE A KID PISSED AT A TOY?
I SEEN THE TRUTH THE OTHER DAY
ITS THE WAY U HAVEN'T CHANGED
THE WAY UR BLAMING ME
WHEN ITS U WHO HATES URSELF.
CAN U TELL ME
WHY U TRIED TO BRING ME DOWN?
WAS I WRONG TO LOVE U
AND TRY TO BE UR FRIEND?
IT AINT MY FAULT
THE GRASS AINT GREENER FOR U
ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF UR PICKET FENCE
UR PICKET FENCE
UR WHITE PICKET FENCE
​
JESSE MACLEOD OLSEn- WINTER/1997
-------------------------------------------------
- oRiGiNaL sOuNDs . .
** NON-ENTITY WRITTEN BY TRENT REZNOR AND ORIGINALLY PERFORMED BY NINE INCH NAILS. IT APPEARS HERE AS AN INTERPRETATION, IN HOMAGE AND IN GOOD WILL. HOWEVER, IT APPEARS HERE WITH NO 'OFFICIAL' PERMISSION.
*ALL SONGS ARE SUBJECT TO CURRENT U.S. COPYRIGHT LAWS...
ALONE -] ------------
GET UR QUESTIONS ANSWERED-
LOOK AT THE PAIN IN MY EYES
I'VE WALKED THRU THIS JUNGLE
THIS BATTLE WE CALL LIFE
THEY WONT CALL ME NO COWARD
AND THEY WONT CALL ME NO BOY
AND THEY WONT WALK UP
UNLESS THEY'RE AS HARD AS I
THEN THEY'LL HAVE NO CHOICE
CHORUS:
THATS WHY I JUST WALK ALONE
I THINK I'LL JUST WALK ALONE
I WALK ALONE
I'VE KNOWN NO TRUE BROTHERS
I'VE GOT WAY TOO MANY FOES
BUT I KEEP ON FIGHTING
CAUSE ITS ALL IVE EVER KNOWN
IF U HAVE TO ASK ME WHY
U WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND
WHY I STAND IN MY PLACE
AS A TRUE & TRIED MAN
IN THIS TWISTED WORLD
[CHORUS]
-----------------------
FALL 1995 [JESSE MACLEOD OLSEN]
-A L O N E-
-A L O N E-
-ALONE ------------
THE KEYS
TO UR MANSION
SO I CAN GO HIDE INSIDE !
N U R S E
NURSE
AM I BLIND? ..WHY CANT I SEE WUT I'M SEEIN'?
WHY DO I SEE THE SAME MISTAKES KEEP REPEATING?
AM I FREE? ..AM I LIVIN' EVEN?
OR AM I A GHOST, JUST HANGIN' AROUND FOR NO REASON?
JUST HANGIN' AROUND FOR NO REASON..
AM I WISE? ..OR IS IT A FOOL THAT UR SEEIN'?
CAN U TELL LIES TO ME THAT I PRETEND TO BELIEVE IN?
NOW IS IT U.. OR IS IT ME THAT WERE USING?
AND WILL IT MATTER AT ALL-
WHEN THE GROUND BELOW U IS MOVIN?
AW YEAH!!
I JUST NEED SUMTHIN FOR THIS PAIN
CAN U HELP ME RELIEVE THE PAIN?
CAN I USE U AND GET SUM FIRST AID?
GIRL CAN I USE U WITHOUT SHAME?
CANT U BE MY NURSE FOR TODAY?
AND U CAN GO UR OWN WAY TOMORROW..
AND DONT ACT LIKE U AINT NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE
ALL I'M ASKIN IS FOR A DISTRACTION, TO FEEL UR REACTION
SUM X-RATED PEACE OF MIND..
CAN'T U BE MY NURSE FOR TODAY?
COULD IT BE, THAT TREATIN' ME IS WUT UR NEEDIN'
U HAVE UR PATIENT NOW, ITS TIME FOR U TO RECEIVE HIM
NOW IS IT ME, OR IS IT U THAT IS LOSIN'
AND WILL THAT MATTER AT ALL-
WHEN THE GROUND BELOW US IS MOVIN'?
AW YEAH!
I JUST NEED SUMTHIN' FOR MY PAIN
CAN U HELP ME RELIEVE OUR PAIN?
CAN I USE U TO MAKE IT GO AWAY?
GIRL CAN I USE U AGAIN & AGAIN?
CANT U BE MY NURSE FOR THE DAY?
AND U CAN GO UR OWN WAY TOMORROW
AND DONT ACT LIKE U AINT NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE
ALL I'M ASKIN', IS FOR A DISTRACTION, TO TASTE UR REACTION
SUM X-RATED PEACE OF MIND..
CAN'T U BE MY NURSE FOR TODAY?
ALL I'M ASKIN' IS FOR INTERACTION,
THE KEYS TO UR MANSION, SO I CAN GO HIDE INSIDE
CAN'T U BE MY NURSE FOR TODAY?
MY NURSE FOR TODAY..
NURSE EVERYDAY..
​
​
​
​
SUMMER/ 2016
jESSE MACLEOD OLSEn
2 REMIND U
IN A STATE OF GRACE HE KNOWS NO FEAR
STOMPIN DOWN THE STREET..
HIS FACE IT SHOWS THE TRUE PRIDE THERE
U CANT TAKE AWAY THE THINGS HE'S SEEN-
OR ALL THAT HE'S DONE.. NO-
HE'S KNOWN NO OTHER WAY..
DOES HE STRESS U OUT?
WITH HIS PRIDE & HONOR U WISH U HAD
DOES HE BOTHER U WITH HIS EGO?
THAT WILL STAND & FIGHT-
AGAINST ALL THOSE U FEAR?
HAS NO SHAME- HE SHEDS NO TEARS
DESPISES ALL THATS FAKE
TRUE WISDOM, IS ALL YOU'LL FIND THERE
NATURES LAWS ARE LEARNED THRU HIM-
HIS ACTIONS LEAD THE WAY
HE' WILL NEVER FADE AWAY..
DOES HE STRESS U OUT?
CAUSE HE'S SOLID LIKE THE GROUND
HE STANDS ON..
DOES HE BOTHER U WITH HIS FREEDOM
AND HIS STRENGTH OF MIND-
THAT HE WILL ALWAYS SPEAK?
[CHORUS] -------------------------------------------------
​
HE IS HERE TO REMIND U..
THAT YOUR SYSTEM- IT HAS FAILED
HE IS HERE TO- TO REMIND U
THAT SOCIETY HAS GROWN ILL
HE IS HERE TO- TO REMIND U MAN
THAT PRIDE & HONOR STILL LIVE ON
AND HE IS HERE SO- SO U WONT FORGET
THAT FREEDOM'S LIGHT..
OUR FREEDOM RESTS IN HIS HANDS
IN HIS HANDS..
---------------------------------------------------------------
FALL/1996 by JESSE MACLEOD OLSEN
N U R S E
RECORDED THRU-OUT 2016 ON THRU TO SPRING/2017 AT THE TARMAN TOMB, HAYWARD CALIFAS
ALL SONGS WRITTEN, PERFORMED, RECORDED,
MIXED and MASTERED by JESSE MACLEOD olsen [J.CHAOS!] EXCEPT where OTHERWISE NOTED.
​
ALL SONGS RECORDED ENTIRELY IN ANALOG on 4.TRACK CASSETTE, USING SHURE MICROPHONES along with TDK & MAXELL TYPE II TAPE.
ENGINEERED USING VARIOUS MACKIE, ALESIS, YAMAHA, CRATE, ROLAND, and TECHNICS STUDIO EQUIPMENT.
​
DIGITALLY REMASTERED to MP3 using SONY SOUNDFORGE AUDIO STUDIO on PC/WIN.
​
A L O N E
MAGGOT!
ITS TRUE MY LIFE WITH HER- IT WAS A TRAGEDY..
BUT WHEN SHE RAN OFF WITH U- IT WAS INSULT TO AGONY
I COULDN'T SEE WHAT SHE COULD- IN SOME LOW-LIFE TRICK..
AND U WENT AND CROSSED THE LINE WHEN UR BULLSHIT
INVOLVED MY KIDS AGAIN..
DID U THINK U HAD ONE ON ME- WHEN I'M WHO RODE THAT IN?
U GOT U SUM SLOPPY SECONDS AND THAT DONT MEAN SHIT
AND ALL THE TIMES U PUT HANDS ON HER- I NEVER MADE A SOUND..
I GUESS U THOUGHT U HAD ME SCARED-
AND I HAD ALREADY BACKED DOWN TO U..
TO U..
[CHORUS]--------------------------------------------------------------------
U WANNA SEE HOW FAR I'LL TAKE THIS?
UR ALIVE BECAUSE I LET U LIVE
NO MAN THREATENS MY KIDS..
BUT UR NO MAN- UR JUST A MAGGOT!
AND U ARE JUST A MAGGOT!
AND BUDDY U ARE- A FUKIN MAGGOT!
​
SO WHAT SHE MADE U MAD- THATS JUST THE WAY SHE IS
TO TAKE IT OUT ON THEM KIDS
IS ONE WAY TO WIND UP DEAD MY FRIEND..
I GOT NO TIME OR RESPECT- FOR THAT LOW-LIFE SHIT
AND IF U EVER CROSS MY PATH BOY-
U JUST MIGHT WANT TO BOW UR HEAD IN SHAME..
IN SHAME..
​
[CHORUS]--------------------------------------------------------------------
​
SHIT ATTRACTS FLIES- A FLY IS A MAGGOT!
A FUKIN MAGGOT!
​
[REPEAT CHORUS AND SUM CHANGE]
​
​
[WORDS & MUSIC WRITTEN, ARRANGED, PERFORMED
RECORDED, MIXED & REMASTERED-
SPRING 2017 BY JESSE MACLEOD OLSEN ]
fuck c.p.s!
fuck c.p.s!
fuck c.p.s!
fuck c.p.s!
- S T R O N G A R M -
- S T R O N G A R M -
HOME
YOU KNOW THE SUN WENT DOWN ON ME-
WHEN OUR SHIP WRECKED OFF THIS COAST
WHY WE HAD TO SINK-
SO FAR AWAY FROM OUR HOME?
AND THEN THEY TRIED TO GRIND US DOWN-
& KNOCK US TO THE GROUND
BUT WE STOOD HERE FIGHTIN'-
WITH NO PLACE TO BACK DOWN..
WE DID'nt SIGN ON FOR THIS SHIT
IT'S THE LIE WE WERE SOLD..
ITS SO HARD TO LIVE-
WHEN THEY're TRYIN' TO KILL UR SOUL..
U GOTTA FIGHT LIKE HELL-
WHEN THERE'S NO WHERE LEFT TO RUN..
NO, IT WAS NEVER EASY HERE-
SO FAR AWAY FROM HOME
THE SKY WENT DARK & GREY
WHEN WE WASHED UP ON THIS SHORE..
& WHO COULD DARE TO THINK-
OF THE NIGHTMARE IN THE COMING STORM?
AND THEY JUST WOULDN'T LET SHIT GO-
THEY TRIED TO KEEP OUR SPIRITS BOUND..
BUT THEY SOON FOUND OUT-
THAT WE JUST DON'T BACK DOWN..
WE DID'nt ASK FOR THIS SHIT-
WE WERE FORCED TO TAKE OUR STAND..
ITS SO HARD TO LIVE-
WITH A KNIFE STABBED INTO UR BACK..
BUT U CANT GIVE UP-
EVEN WHEN UR ON THE GROUND..
I KNOW IT WONT BE EASY BUT-
WE're GONNA FIND OUR WAY BACK HOME..
THE SUN WILL RISE AGAIN U'LL SEE-
THE DAY WE STEP OUT FROM THIS COLD
WHEN WE'LL STAND BENEATH
THE MOUNTAINS WE ONCE CALLED OUR HOME..
I KNOW IT WILL BE BITTERSWEET-
TO STAND WITHOUT UR BROTHER THERE..
HOW THEM FOOLS COULD EVER THINK-
THAT WHAT THEY DID TO US WAS FAIR?
WE DID'nt SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT-
OR ALL THE LIES OUR QUEEN TOLD..
IT'S SO HARD TO LIVE-
WHEN UR BEST FRIEND BECOMES UR FOE
WE'D FIGHT TO THE DEATH
FOR EACH OTHER & ALL WE LOVE..
I KNOW IT WONT BE EASY BUT-
WE WILL FIND OUR WAY BACK HOME..
JUST PUT UR BEST FOOT FORWARD-
& KEEP UR FACE INTO THE SUN..
IF ITS THE LAST THING WE EVER DO-
WERE GONNA FIND OUR WAY BACK HOME..
​
SPRING 2016
JESSE MACLEOD
TOGETHER
AN ANGEL WAS SENT FROM ABOVE
I LOOK TO UR EYES AND I'M CERTAIN-THAT U CAME FROM VALHALLA..
U ARE MY BROTHER MY SON
WE'LL STAND SIDE BY SIDE AND NUTHIN'- WILL TEAR US APART..
U ARE MY FUTURE MY SON
I AM YOUR GUIDANCE AND TOGETHER- WE CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS..
[CHORUS]----------------------------------------------
TOGETHER- WE WILL SURVIVE
TOGETHER- WE WILL GET BY
TOGETHER- WE WILL SURVIVE
IN A STATE OF GRACE WE WILL GET BY..
----------------------------------------------------------
U ARE MY HERO MY SON
U ARE MY PRIDE, UR MY HONOR- UR MY BEST FRIEND
WE'LL STAND AND WE'LL CONQUER THE STORM
IT WONT DEFEAT US
CAUSE WE'LL STAND WITHOUT FEAR- AND LIVE UP TO OUR NAME..
U ARE MY GLORY MY SON
U LIVE IN A STATE OF GRACE- UR BEAUTY, BRINGS TEARS TO MY EYES
[CHORUS]-------------------------------------------------
IN A STATE OF GRACE WE WILL SURVIVE [2X]
HERITAGE SURVIVES [2X]
-----------------------------------------------------------
WRITTEN SUMMER/1998
FOR MY LATE SON CONOR MACLEOD OLSEN ON A SATURDAY MORNING WHILE HE STILL SLEPT IN THE BED NEXT TO ME, IN OUR ROOM ON WILLIAMS ST. IN WEST KETCHUM, IDAHO [WILLIAMSTOWN!]
HE WAS 5..
TOGETHER
AN ANGEL WAS SENT FROM ABOVE
I LOOK TO UR EYES AND I'M CERTAIN-THAT U CAME FROM VALHALLA..
U ARE MY BROTHER MY SON
WE'LL STAND SIDE BY SIDE AND NUTHIN'- WILL TEAR US APART..
U ARE MY FUTURE MY SON
I AM YOUR GUIDANCE AND TOGETHER- WE CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS..
[CHORUS]----------------------------------------------
TOGETHER- WE WILL SURVIVE
TOGETHER- WE WILL GET BY
TOGETHER- WE WILL SURVIVE
IN A STATE OF GRACE WE WILL GET BY..
----------------------------------------------------------
U ARE MY HERO MY SON
U ARE MY PRIDE, UR MY HONOR- UR MY BEST FRIEND
WE'LL STAND AND WE'LL CONQUER THE STORM
IT WONT DEFEAT US
CAUSE WE'LL STAND WITHOUT FEAR- AND LIVE UP TO OUR NAME..
U ARE MY GLORY MY SON
U LIVE IN A STATE OF GRACE- UR BEAUTY, BRINGS TEARS TO MY EYES
[CHORUS]-------------------------------------------------
IN A STATE OF GRACE WE WILL SURVIVE [2X]
HERITAGE SURVIVES [2X]
-----------------------------------------------------------
WRITTEN SUMMER/1998
FOR MY LATE SON CONOR MACLEOD OLSEN ON A SATURDAY MORNING WHILE HE STILL SLEPT IN THE BED NEXT TO ME, IN OUR ROOM ON WILLIAMS ST. IN WEST KETCHUM, IDAHO [WILLIAMSTOWN!]
HE WAS 5..
LOWGIRL..
[LOWGIRL'S GONE]
​
SHE'S ALL I KNEW ABOUT LOVE..
​
I WOKE UP EARLY THIS MORNIN'-
I GUESS THINGS HAD CHANGED A BIT...
I WASN'T FEELING SO CONCERNED
ABOUT THE LOCAL POLITICS
THERE WERE NO LIES BEING TOLD ABOUT ME-
NO RUMOURS WERE BEING SPREAD..
& I GUESS I FOUND SUM PEACE OF MIND-
WITHOUT THAT LOWGIRL FUKIN WITH MY HEAD..
CAUSE NOW SHE'S GONE- AND NOW SHE'S GONE..
THE LOWGIRL'S GONE..
THE LOWGIRL HAS GONE AWAY..
THE MEMORIES ARE VICIOUS-
I DOUBT I'LL EVER BE THE SAME
MY FRIENDS, THEY WARNED ME TIME AGAIN-
THERES GONNA BE A PRICE TO PAY..
IT WAS WRONG OF HER TO TURN AGAINST ME-
AND WALK OUT ON THEM KIDS..
AND I DONT KNOW WHY IM NOT AS LONELY-
AS I WAS WHEN SHE WAS MY FRIEND..
BUT SHE'S GONE- AND NOW SHE'S GONE..
THE LOWGIRLS' GONE
THE LOWGIRL HAS GONE AWAY..
CAUSE NOW SHE'S GONE
I'M MOVIN' ON
THE LOWGIRL HAS GONE AWAY.
​
SHE'S-- LONG -- GONE [4X]
I'M GONNA MISS THAT GIRL..
I MISS THAT GIRL..
IT ALL WENT WRONG, NOW THE LOWGIRLS' GONE NOW I'M MOVIN' ON MY WAY..
THE HATE IS GONE, CAUSE THE LOWGIRLS' GONE
BUT SHE TOOK HER 'LOVE' AWAY..
THE PAIN IS GONE, CAUSE THE LOWGIRLS GONE
BUT THERES NO MORE GAMES TO PLAY..
NOW THE LOWGIRLS' GONE, SO I'M MOVIN ON..
MY FREEDOM IS ON IT'S WAY..
SO THEY SAY..
I WASN'T TAKEN FOR GRANTED-
NO ONE BLAMED ME FOR THE MESS SHE'S IN..
AND I WASN'T BEING JUDGED-
FOR THE LIES SHE TOLD TO JUSTIFY HER SINS
THERE WAS NO NEWS OF HER PIMP EX-BOYFRIEND
BEATIN' HER ASS AGAIN..
AND I WASNT INFORMED THAT I WAS SHARIN' MY WIFE-
WITH THE DOPE MAN AND ALL HIS FRIENDS..
AGAIN...
CAUSE SHE'S GONE- AND NOW SHE'S GONE
THE LOWGIRLS GONE..
LOWGIRL HAS GONE AWAY..
CAUSE NOW SHE'S GONE
AND I'M MOVIN' ON..
THE LOWGIRL HAS GONE AWAY..
SHE'S GONE AWAY
MY GIRLS' GONE AWAY..
MAN...
SUMMER 2013/JESSE MACLEOD OLSEN.
- H O M E -
fuck c.p.s!
fuck c.p.s!
fuck c.p.s!
fuck c.p.s!
fuck c.p.s!
fuck c.p.s!
*Alone '98' recorded spring/98 at the willow creek studio in camas county [Fairfield] Idaho. Recorded, Mixed and Mastered by Jason Scot; Written and Performed by Jesse Macleod; Drum Tracks provided by Jason Scot.
*so far away was the last song written, and recorded of the original strongarm sessions of 97-98
before taking nearly 15 years off.
recorded fall/98 in williamstown, west ketchum, idaho. and is merely vocals overdubbed onto an electric acoustic guitar track w/delay and nothing more. the fat sound it has was entirely in-mic and a consequence of the mix.